03 Apr 26 | The Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ
Jesus says I AM to a cohort of armed soldiers and Peter says I am not to a servant girl, and John places both in the same frame so the reader cannot miss the comparison.
The Gospel: John 18:1 – 19:42
¹ When he had said this, Jesus went out with his disciples across the Kidron valley to where there was a garden, into which he and his disciples entered. ² Judas his betrayer also knew the place, because Jesus had often met there with his disciples. ³ So Judas got a band of soldiers and guards from the chief priests and the Pharisees and went there with lanterns, torches, and weapons. ⁴ Jesus, knowing everything that was going to happen to him, went out and said to them, "Whom are you looking for?" ⁵ They answered him, "Jesus the Nazorean." He said to them, "I AM." Judas his betrayer was also with them. ⁶ When he said to them, "I AM," they turned away and fell to the ground. ⁷ So he again asked them, "Whom are you looking for?" They said, "Jesus the Nazorean." ⁸ Jesus answered, "I told you that I AM. So if you are looking for me, let these men go." ⁹ This was to fulfill what he had said, "I have not lost any of those you gave me." ¹⁰ Then Simon Peter, who had a sword, drew it, struck the high priest's slave, and cut off his right ear. The slave's name was Malchus. ¹¹ Jesus said to Peter, "Put your sword into its scabbard. Shall I not drink the cup that the Father gave me?"
¹² So the band of soldiers, the tribune, and the Jewish guards seized Jesus, bound him, ¹³ and brought him to Annas first. He was the father-in-law of Caiaphas, who was high priest that year. ¹⁴ It was Caiaphas who had counseled the Jews that it was better that one man should die rather than the people.
¹⁵ Simon Peter and another disciple followed Jesus. Now the other disciple was known to the high priest, and he entered the courtyard of the high priest with Jesus. ¹⁶ But Peter stood at the gate outside. So the other disciple, the acquaintance of the high priest, went out and spoke to the gatekeeper and brought Peter in. ¹⁷ Then the maid who was the gatekeeper said to Peter, "You are not one of this man's disciples, are you?" He said, "I am not." ¹⁸ Now the slaves and the guards were standing around a charcoal fire that they had made, because it was cold, and were warming themselves. Peter was also standing there keeping warm.
Today’s Focus
Jesus crossed the Kidron, met the soldiers before they could find him, said I AM, and watched them fall to the ground. Then he surrendered on his own terms, twice, negotiating the release of his disciples before allowing himself to be taken. He was not overcome. He gave himself. Peter followed at a distance, stood at a fire in the wrong courtyard with the wrong people, and when a servant girl asked if he was one of Jesus’ disciples he said I am not. The same passage holds both men. Jesus declaring his identity under armed pressure. Peter dissolving his by a fire. John uses the same word for that fire as he uses for the fire where Jesus will later restore Peter on the shore.
In the Margins
Jesus crosses the Kidron valley and enters the garden. This draws similarity to what we see in 2 Samuel 15, when David fled Jerusalem across that same valley in tears during Absalom’s rebellion, weeping as he went into exile. It is the image of the suffering king driven from his city. Jesus is not fleeing though, but He is entering the same valley, and readers formed in Israel’s scriptures would feel the weight of that. Judas knew the place because Jesus had gone there often with His disciples. The betrayal uses intimacy as its instrument. The place of regular prayer and fellowship becomes the place of arrest.
Jesus does not wait to be found. He goes out to meet them and asks who they are looking for. When they answer Jesus of Nazareth, He says two words. Ego eimi. I AM. This is the absolute divine name, the same construction Jesus used in John 8 when He told the crowd that before Abraham came to be, I AM. It is the name God revealed to Moses at the burning bush in Exodus 3, the name before which Moses removed his sandals. The soldiers and Temple guards fall to the ground. A substantial armed force, equipped for a potential fight, prostrates itself at two words.
Jesus asks the question a second time and identifies Himself a second time. He is not simply surrendering. He is surrendering on His own terms, twice over, making clear that no one is taking Him. He is giving Himself. Before He does, He negotiates the release of the disciples, and this fulfills His own words from earlier in the Gospel, that He would lose none of those the Father had given Him. Even in the moment of arrest He is still shepherding, still gathering, still protecting.
Peter draws a sword and strikes Malchus, the high priest’s slave, cutting off his right ear. John is the only Gospel writer to name both the attacker and the victim, a detail of eyewitness precision. The rebuke from Jesus is immediate. Put the sword away. Peter’s instinct is understandable and entirely misses what is happening. Jesus has just knocked an armed cohort to the ground with His voice. He does not need a sword. More than that, a sword has no place in what is unfolding.
The cup saying that follows is the theological heart of the scene. Shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me? In Isaiah 51, Jeremiah 25, and Ezekiel 23, the cup is the cup of God’s wrath, the weight of divine judgment poured out. The one who drinks it bears what human sin has accumulated before God. Jesus is telling Peter, and the reader, that what He is walking into is not a defeat to be prevented. It is something the Father has given Him, and He is going to drink it.
The passage closes at a charcoal fire in the high priest’s courtyard. A servant girl asks Peter whether he is one of Jesus’ disciples. His answer is ouk eimi. I am not. The contrast with the garden is structural and deliberate. Ego eimi and ouk eimi stand against each other across the passage. Jesus declaring His identity under armed pressure, and Peter denying his under a servant girl’s question, are placed in the same narrative frame so the reader cannot look away from the comparison.
John uses the same specific Greek word for charcoal fire, anthrakia, only one other time in his Gospel, in chapter 21 when Jesus prepares breakfast on the shore for the disciples after the resurrection and Peter is restored. The fire of denial and the fire of restoration are John’s deliberate bookends for Peter’s story.
Reflection Question
When the moment came to identify yourself with Jesus, did you say I AM or I am not?
A Small Invitation
If this reflection helped you, consider sharing it with someone who may benefit from hearing this message.